12/01/2012

That Memory That I Couldn't Remember (Part 2)

Well, here I am it has been a while since I have written and there has been a lot going on in my world. This year has been one of tremendous change. I have made some decisions that well not ready to post about yet however there has been one big big change this year that is really difficult.

I had written a couple years ago how my Aunt had sent some photos of my 4th birthday. Early this year she had told us she had cancer. Most of the people close to me know she had stage 4 and she knew her time was short. My family and I believe in the power of healing and God working miracles. The way God has shown me about death I have a different perspective on it then a lot of people. Not that people who believe what I do wouldn't understand but it is very specific and that will be a post for another day.

That being said my Aunt (Fay Valentine) went to Heaven in June of this year. Things have changed, sometimes I feel when someone dies that they live a full and long life. Sometimes I feel that life has been cut short, my Aunt was 61. Sometimes I think well she lived a full life, not necessarily long. I don't know that her life was cut short but only maybe if the cancer had been found sooner maybe she could have made it longer to be around a bit longer. Then I think things happen for a reason and that when it is someone's time to go that it wouldn't have mattered because if it wasn't cancer it would have been something else. I know some of the things that I am feeling is part of grief.

Now that it is the Christmas time I remember some of the memories I had with her. Most of them are good, some of them well kids make mistakes and get in trouble. Mostly I remember her Love. Her love for her family,  her strength. There are many things that make this difficult at this time. I just will miss her so much, sometimes it is hard to look ahead when someone significant will not be there in the physical world that I know now. However all I can do right now is take one day at a time and know that God has a plan even it is not what I had wanted.

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